Jean-Louis Lebris de Kerouac

JACK   Ti-Jean

giovane scrittore si firmava john  kerouac

 


We should be wondering tonight,  ' Is there a world ? '      But I could go and talk on 5, 10, 20 minutes about is there a world, because there is really no world cause sometimes I’m walkin’ on the ground and I see right through the ground.  And there is no world. And you’ll find out.

is there a beat generation ? - forum at hunter college - new york - 8 november 1958

Tangier 1957
.   War, he thought .    Our nation has plunged it's mighty sinews into war  .
.   My generation,  he whispered is making the sacrifice .   It is suffering .   Only through suffering does one learn love and fulfillment .    I believe I am correct in saying so .    My generation,  my world is not lost .
my generation my world 1943  -   fb/beatpoemsontheroad
To hell with all the doubters & bastards that lurk inside my soul
the unknown kerouac - rare, unpublished & Nnewly translated writings - books.google
Then we sailed down into the Irish Sea, laid anchor off Belfast, waited there for some British convoy boats and crossed the Irish Sea that afternoon and night straight for Liverpool .  1943 .  
The year the Beatles were born there, ha ha ha .
...
I realized either I was crazy or the world was crazy, and I picked on the world. And of course I was right .
vanity of duluoz : an adventurous education 1935-46   -   fb/jk
...
Vanity of vanities … all is vanity.   You kill yourself to get to the grave .   Especially you kill yourself to get to the grave before you even die, and the name of that grave is  ' success ',   the name of that grave is hullabullo boomboom horseshit   .
fb/jk - vanity of duluoz
My eyes were glued on life and they were full of tears
i miei occhi erano incollati sulla vita. Ed erano pieni di lacrime
...
The romantics have more on the ball than the others 
Those who laugh at the romantics are just jealous bank clerks
and unsuccessful writers who become critics
A romantic is a realist who digs in and lives so that he can learn more about everything
Who really knows more about realism than the romantic  ?
...
Inward success he desired and  - as youth will -  he saw no reason for admitting that
inward success could only be won at the expense of outward success
Both were within reach, both were available, as far as he could see 
Why not    ?
the haunted life and other writings
...
A poet is a blind optimist
The world is against him for many reasons .   But the poet persists   
He believes that he is on the right track, no matter what any of his fellow men say   
In his eternal search for truth, the poet is alone. He tries to be timeless in a society built on time 
...
     if tears shall wash away the cruelty of our years, and sow the seeds of pity in our black and broken hearts, remind us that life is brief and lovely, not long and foolish, that it is strange and beautiful, yea as a dream, then so let it be, if it must be tears, if tears alone may serve ...
...
You realize that a man can take a train and never reach his destination, that a man has no destination at the end of the road, but that he merely has a starting point on the road  -  which is Home .     You see it all, this epic of mankind, before your eyes; it is a limpid and awful truth, it has a naked and beautiful reality  .
You are now a man, little madman
...
Jack Kerouac is a little man-creature,   standing so high and weighing just about enough to crack some thin ice .  He’s  a  hell  of a punk, not because he wants to devote his life to talking to his fellow men and telling them some helpful  things,  but because he insists on being an unusual man-creature, rather than a mediocre man-creature .
...
A novel is a story of a man’s development, I think
 Development is the soul of Fate .    My first novel will be a novel  
Everything develops, and then dies .  That’s a novel .   This novel is now ended
...
The page is long,  blank,  and full of truth
When I am through with it, it shall probably be long,  full,  and empty with words
atop an underwood : early stories and other writings - fb/jk

Si può sempre andare oltre

oltre

– non si finisce mai

jk

It's okay, girl, we'll make it till the sun goes down forever
And until then what you got to lose but the losing  ?
We're fallen angels who didn't believe that
nothing means nothing
...
None of this means anything
for krissakes speak up & be true
or shut up & go to bed
...
And if you dont like the tone of my poems
You can go jump in the lake

book of blues

 

poveri cuori umani che battono dappertutto

 

...

Ho un sacco di soldi e i soldi sono solo soldi  .

... 

I started to cry .    And I looked up and saw the bleak pines by the bleak mills of Roanoke Rapids with one final despair, like the despair of a man who has nothing left to do but leave the earth forever .

...

And Raphael’s grimace meaks - sic -  me a leak-tear right quick, I see it,  I suffer,  we all suffer,  people die in your arms,  it’s too much to bear yet you’ve got to go on as though nothing was happening,  right ?  right, readers ?

...

The only truth is music   ...   Because all these serious faces’ll drive you mad, the only meaning is without meaning   -   Music blends with the heartbeat universe and we forget the brain beat   .

...

Everything is going to the beat - It's the beat generation, it be-at, it's the beat to keep, it's the beat of the heart, it's being beat and down in the world and like oldtime lowdown and like in ancient civilizations the slave boatmen rowing galleys to a beat and servants spinning pottery to a beat ...
... 

He has a face that looks like everybody  you've  ever known and seen on the street in your generation,  a sweet face  - Hard to describe  -   sad eyes, cruel lips, expectant gleam, swaying to the beat, tall, MAJESTICAL .

...

Giornate di tanto tempo fa quando avrei potuto semplicemente salire al piano di sopra e baciare mia madre o mio padre e dire  ' Mi piacete perché un giorno sarò un vecchio vagabondo nella desolazione e sarò solo e triste ' .

...

Hold together, Jack, pass through everything, everything is one dream, one appearance, one flash, one sad eye, one crystal lucid mystery, one word -  Hold still, man, regain your love of life and go down from this mountain and simply be-be-be the infinite fertilities of the one mind of infinity, make no comments, complaints, criticisms, appraisals, avowals, sayings, shooting starts of thought, just flow, flow, be you all, be you what it is, it is only what it always is -  Hope is a word like a snow-drift  - This is the Great Knowing, this is the Awakening, this is Voidness -  So shut up, live, travel, adventure, bless and dont be sorry -

...

COME PUO QUALSIASI COSA FINIRE ?

...

Every night I still ask the Lord   ' Why ? '   and haven’t heard a decent answer yet .

...

Nothing can be more dreary than ‘coolness’   .

...

My life is a vast and insane legend reaching everywhere without beginning or ending  .

...

But what he meant was my eyes, which were blue, like his, and my hair, which is black, like his, and when I looked into his eyes, and he looked into my eyes, we couldn't stand all that sadness .   In fact, when Dali and I look in the mirror we can't stand all that sadness .   To Dali sadness is beautiful  .

...
I had a Chet Baker record on and we hoofed at each other in the room, tremendous, the perfect grace of his dancing, casual, like Joe Louis casually hoofing .
...
Black black black black bling bling bling bling black black black black bling bling bling bling black black black black bling bling bling
jk - desolation angels

...

Tieni duro Jack, passa attraverso tutte le cose, e tutte le cose sono un solo sogno, una sola immagine, un solo baleno, un solo occhio triste, un solo lucido mostro di cristallo, una sola parola - Tieniti forte, amico, ritrova il tuo amore per la vita e scendi giù da questa montagna e semplicemente sii - sii - sii le infinite fertilità dell'unica mente infinita, non formulare commenti, lagnanze, critiche, lodi, ammissioni massime, meteore di pensiero, semplicemente scorri, scorri, sii tutto, sii ciò che è, e solo quello che sempre è   .

angeli della desolazione - 1965 - libro I parte I - desolazione nella solitudine - trad. m.corona

Sono cambiato io e non il vuoto

e ho fatto tutto questo

e sono andato e venuto

e mi sono lamentato e ferito

e ho gioito e urlato

angeli di desolazione

Scoppieranno guerre per gli occhi delle donne

 ...

 We live to long - so long I will
...

so shut up, live, travel, adventure, bless

and don't be sorry

 angeli di desolazione

Ero una volta giovane e aggiornato e lucido e sapevo parlare di tutto con nervosa intelligenza e con chiarezza e senza far tanti retorici preamboli come faccio ora; in altre parole questa è la storia di uno sfiduciato che non è più padrone di sé e insieme la storia di un egomaniaco, per costituzione e non per facezia  -  questo tanto per cominciare dal principio con ordine ed enucleare la verità, perché è proprio questo che voglio fare.   -  Cominciò una calda notte d'estate, sì, con lei seduta su un parafango quando Julien Alexander che sarebbe... Ma cominciamo dalla storia dei sotterranei di San Francisco .
i sotterranei 1992

I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night .   It said that Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry .    It's all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds .   But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever .   
Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing.
I call it the golden eternity .   
It is perfect .     We were never really born, we will never really die .
   
It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about .   I know this from staring at mountains months on end .  They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born.
...
Geniuses can be scintillating and geniuses can be somber, but it's that inescapable sorrowful depth that shines through - originality  .

the portable JK

I’m not the smiling type
...
Always considered writing my duty on earth

...
Thinking of the stars night after night I begin to realize  ' The stars are words '  and all the innumerable worlds in the Milky Way are words, and so is this world too .    And I realize that no matter where I am, whether in a little room full of thought or in this endless universe of stars and mountains, it’s all in my mind  .  There’s no need for solitude .    So love life for what it is, and form no preconceptions whatever in your mind .
...
After all this kind of fanfare, and even more, I came to a point where I needed solitude and to just stop the machine of 'thinking' and 'enjoying' what they call 'living,' I just wanted to lie in the grass and look at the clouds ...
...
Everything is perfect on the street again, the world is permeated with roses of happiness all the time, but none of us know it .   The happiness consists in realizing that it is all a great strange dream .
...
... learn the secret of my human heart, give me the thing, give me your hand, take me to the emerald mountains beyond the city, take me to the safe place,  
 be kind,    be nice,    smile  -  I’m too tired now of everything else  -
...
Paris is a woman but London is an independent man puffing his pipe in a pub .
...
No man should go through life without once experiencing healthy,  even bored solitude in the wilderness,  finding himself depending solely on himself and thereby learning his true and hidden strength .    Learning for instance,  to eat when he’s hungry and sleep when he’s sleepy .

lonesome traveler

se Gesù sedesse alla mia scrivania questa notte, guardando fuori dalla finestra, tutta quella gente che ride felice per l’inizio delle vacanze estive, forse sorriderebbe e ringrazierebbe suo Padre.   Non lo so.    La gente deve 'vivere', eppure so che soltanto Gesù conosce la risposta definitiva .
.
come mai non hai mai scritto di Gesù? chiede Ted Berrigan  in un’intervista di un anno prima della sua morte. 
Io non avrei scritto nulla di Gesù? Non venirtene a casa mia a fare il pazzo bugiardo … e …
tutto ciò su cui scrivo è Gesù .
la civiltà cattolica - il dio di jk -  pag 126 - 20.1.2007

 
More than a rock in my belly, I have a waterfall in my brain; a rose in my eye, a beautiful eye; and what's in my heart but a mountainside, and what's in my skull; a light .   And in my throat a bird .   And I have in my soul, in my arm, in my mind, in my blood, in my bean a grindstone of plaints which grinds rock into water, and the water is warmed by fires, and sweetened by elixirs, and becomes the pool of contemplation of the dearness of life .    
In my mind I cry .   In my heart I think .    In my eye I love .    In my breast I see .    In my soul I become .    In my shroud I will die .  In my grave I will change .

notes -  feb 1950

L'erba profuma di caldo e si sfalda nell'aria più fredda, l'oscurità si manifesta su tutta l'immensa giostra del mondo e il bestiame resta lì, ad aspettare la triste notte di nebbia spazzata dal vento, le sirene della baia sottostante e le stelle isolate che brillano fra gli squarci di nebbia a mezzanotte   .

...

Non ho mai chiesto di essere creato e di nascere così inadatto a una simile realtà. Io chiedo solo, ora che sono vivo e consapevole, l'estasi di cui la mia anima ha bisogno.
...
mercoledi 12 novembe :
Oh, venti poderosi, che schiantate i rami novembrini! Il placido sole splendente, non toccato dalle furie della terra, abbandona il mondo all'oscurità, al selvaggio oblio e alla notte, mentre gli uomini tremano nei loro cappotti e si affrettano a tornare a casa. Poi le luci di casa scintillano in quelle profondità desolate. Eppure ci sono le stelle! Alte e luccicanti in un firmamento spirituale. Noi cammineremo fra mulinelli di vento, guardando intensamente attraverso le nostre sembianze terrestri, alla ricerca di un improvviso sorriso di intelligenza umana al di là di queste insondabili bellezze. Ora il ruggito della furia di mezzanotte e lo scricchiolio dei cardini e delle finestre, ora l'inverno, ora la comprensione della terra e della nsotra presenza su di essa: questo dramma di enigmi e di doppi fondi, di sofferenze e di tristi gioie, queste cose umane nell'elementare vastità di un mondo battuto dal vento.
stanotte 55 parole. domani giorno libero, altrimenti, con un po' piu' di parole, aggiungerei il nuovo traguardp di 15.000 parole alla settimana.

un mondo battuto dal vento

 

... non c'era posto dove non si annoiasse e non c'era posto dove andare se non dappertutto - non c'era altro da fare che vagare sotto le stelle - le stelle del west di solito

there was nowhere to go but everywhere so just keep on rolling under the stars


...

Cercate la vostra anima
andate a fiutare il vento
andate via
lontano !

...
è un amico fallo sognare

LOVE IS ALL

HO CREATO QUEL CIELO ?
SÌ, PERCHÉ FOSSE STATO COSA DIVERSA DA UN CONCETTO DELLA MIA MENTE NON AVREI DETTO 'CIELO' – ECCO PERCHÉ IO SONO LA ETERNITÀ DORATA .  NON SIAMO IN DUE QUI, LETTORE E SCRITTORE, MA UNO, L’ETERNITÀ DORATA, UNO-CHE-È-QUELLA, QUELLO-CHE-È-TUTTO  .
la scrittura dell’eternità dorata - 1960
DID I CREATE THAT SKY ? YES, FOR, IF IT WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CONCEPTION IN MY MIND I WOULDNT HAVE SAID 'SKY'   -   THAT IS WHY I AM THE GOLDEN ETERNITY.    THERE ARE NOT TWO OF US HERE, READER AND WRITER, BUT ONE, ONE GOLDEN ETERNITY,  ONE-WHICH-IT-IS,  THAT-WHICH- EVERYTHING-IS .

...

the point is we're waiting, not how comfortable we are while waiting. Paleolithic man waited by caves for the realization of why he was there, and hunted; modern men wait in beautified homes and try to forget death and birth. We're waiting for the realization that this is the golden eternity .
...
This is the first teaching from the golden eternity .
...

Rest and be kind ... Even in dreams be kind, because anyway there is no time, no space, no mind ... Kindness and sympathy, understanding and encouragement, these give: they are better than just presents and gifts : no reason in the world why not .   Anyhow,  be nice .   Remember the golden eternity is yourself .

...
The second teaching from the golden eternity is that there never was a first teaching from the golden eternity. So be sure .

...

While looking for the light, you may suddenly be devoured by the darkness and find the true light .
the scripture of the golden eternity - 1960

 

life is drenched in spirit - it rains spirit - we would suffer were it not so
the word and the way

And what does the rain say at night in a small town, what does the rain have to say ?    Who walks beneath dripping melancholy branches listening to the rain ?    Who is there in the rain’s million-needled blurring splash, listening to the grave music of the rain at night, September rain, September rain, so dark and soft ?    Who is there listening to steady level roaring rain all around, brooding and listening and waiting, in the rain-washed, rain-twinkled dark of night ?
...
The world’s in such a mess, all you poor kids are mixed up. Keep your chin up and just wait for the best, or the worst, whichever Fate chooses to deal you .    But be brave, be gay, be a genuine man whatever you do !    That’s the way to live .     Don’t worry, don’t repent .
...
he saw that all the struggles of life were incessant, laborious, painful, that nothing was done quickly, without labor, that it had to undergo a thousand fondlings,  revisings,  moldings,  addings,  removings,  graftings, tearings, correctings,  smoothings,  rebuildings, reconsiderings,  nailings,  tackings,  chippings,  hammerings,  hoistings, connectings   -   all the poor fumbling uncertain incompletions of human endeavor. They went on forever and were forever incomplete, far from perfect, refined, or smooth, full of terrible memories of failure and fears of failure, yet, in the way of things, somehow noble, complete, and shining in the end  .
...
My philosophy is that you can't explain the world .    It's too big and it's too crazy and sometimes it's funny and most of the time it's ... strange .

the town and the city


However,      it is suddenly occurring to me that a great new change is about to take place in mankind and in the world  .   Don’t ask me how I know this .   And it’s going to be very simple and true, and men will have taken a step forward .   It will be a kind of clear realization of love, and war will eventually seem unreal and even obsolete, and a lot of other things will happen .   But madness will rule in high places for a long time yet .   All this is going to come up from the people themselves, a great new revolution of the soul .  Politics has nothing to do with this . It will be a kind of a looking around and noticing of the world and a simultaneous abandoment of systems of pride and jealousy,    in many,   many,    people,   and it will spread around swiftly  .

...

I wonder why our life must quiver between beauty and guilt
consummation and sadness
desire and regret, immortality and tattered moments unknowable
truth and beautiful meaningful lies

...
All the souls to explore  ! - It's not so necessary to love, really
as it is to settle something deep with all of those who really matter
Love and hate are the same things, differently sifted through personal ...
pride, or what have you ... personal pride or even just personal-ness
...

Hang on, hang on  …

life's long, energy creates energy, things are all-right

hunger piles up, love waits … and when found …

grows. Hang on .
...

A day of intense feelings, a day of great rending thoughts that twist one back to face sudden realities hitherto avoided  - and there you are, facing them, like looking into the sun, blinking, admitting the truth

...

I wonder if happiness is possible
It is a state of mind but I'd hate to be a bore all my life
if only because of those I love around me
Happiness can change into unhappiness just for the sake of change
...

I want a blaze of light to flame in me forever in a timeless

dear love of everything  

And why should I pretend to want anything else  ?

...
Allow me my soul somehow - yet love me
...
Don't tell them too much about your soul - They're waiting for just that

 windblown world - the journals of jk   1947-1954 - fb/jk 

I'm throwing away something that I can't even find in the incredible clutter of my being

I would have preferred the happy man to the unhappy poems he's left us
...

And I go home having lost her love .    And write this book   .

...

O love,  fled me  -  or do telepathies cross sympathetically in the night  ?

...

The details are the life of it, I insist, say everything on your mind, don’t hold back

don’t analyze or anything as you go along, say it out .

...   Ah, you always go for the ones who don't really want you  .

the subterraneans

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken
I am mentally exhausted and spiritually discouraged by this shit of being of having to do what everybody wants me to do instead of just my old private life of poesies and nove lies of yore.
JK to AG - letters - dharma lion: a biography of allen ginsberg di michael schumacher


I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money

I want to fish as deep down as possible into my own subconscious

in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand

because they are the same that far down

...

Be in love with your life every detail of it

...

We are stupid,  stupid  -  that’s the main thing about us .    We don’t doubt enough, we, form too many convictions, like idiots we live by them. It’s far better that, instead of perfecting our attitudes, or perfecting our position in the world even, we would spend time perfecting doubt - develop a perfection of doubt ...

...

forse la vita è questo … un battito di ciglia e stelle ammiccanti
maybe that's what life is ... a wink of the eye and winking stars

jk - selected letters 1940-1956

...

I don't know,   I don't care   and it doesn't make any difference

...

I’m a rucksack bum

in the desert trudging along not knowing I’m trudging along to European travel, fame and fortune and showing how fame & fortune is a crock in America   .

...

Be fair, be just, forgive everything

Forget a word like skeptical and use the word melancholy .   Forget the facts and think of the things, all the things .    What is a fact in a whole world of things! It is only a vanity, a word, an intellectual term .   There are all the things, all the appurtenances of the world, through which you move with love, as best as you can, doubting even your love as you doubt your hate,  equally,  doubting, staying fair,  just,  forgiving,  rich and large  .

selected letters 1940-1956

...

So you see, Nin

my aimlessness and laziness are not just ingrained in my personality they were put there by the hard nature of life when I was just four or five, and can be extracted again, like a bad appendix .   The only thing I don’t like about all this is that I lose self-respect, I feel as though I don’t have a mind or will of my own .    But then I realize that, well, anyway, get operated on for the hell of it  -  because if I start to exercise my so-called will on my own again, it will blindly lead me back along the rounded rut of that circle I’m in .   Gadzooks, I’m sick of that circle  .

selected letters 1940-1956 - to his sister caroline_nin

...

...  it was all my fault and you were not to blame

because you’re always the same

and very constant in your own way that I understand now

...

What I’m beginning to discover now is something beyond the novel

and beyond the arbitrary confines of the story  …  

I’m making myself seek to find the wild form, that can grow with my wild heart …

because now I know MY HEART DOES GROW
selected letters 1940-1956 - to john clellon holmes 1951-52

...

Not that I want Nirvana for myself, no sir

just a good night’s reset every single night, with window open

in silent night, and wake up to a good cup of coffee

...

Feeling is the essence of intellect
because without feeling nothing can be KNOWN, Goddammit ! ...
So write how you FEEL

beat zen, square zen, and zen - selected letters 1957-1969

...

Between incomprehensible and incoherent sits the madhouse

I am not in the madhouse

...

Realize, Allen

that if all the world were green, there would be no such thing as the color green. Similarly, men cannot know what it is to be together without otherwise knowing what it is to be apart .    If all the world were love, then, how could love exist? This is why we turn away from each other on moments of great happiness and closeness .    How can we know happiness and closeness without contrasting them, like lights  ?
JK to AG - september, 1948

...

I feel older

and clearer than I ever did - though at the same time more irretrievable isolated in the huge dream of the world …  Whatever I want,   I still am not what I wanted to be,  none of the many kinds of things I wanted to be  -  and perhaps will not .   The opening of eyes goes on  .

...

I'm afraid that you'll never understand me fully

and because of that

sometimes you'll be frightened,  disgusted,  annoyed  or pleased

...

I think we none of us realize the importance

nay the sweetness, of admiration

it is one of the dying virtues of character

...

I want to write about the crazy generation and put them on the map and give them importance and make everything begin to change once more, as it always does every twenty years .

...

We are sealed in our own little melancholy atmospheres, like planets

and revolving around the sun, our common but distant desire
jk and allen ginsberg  -  the letters   - fb/jk

jean louis lebris de kerouac

  lowell - massachusetts 12 MARZO 1922

st.petersburg - florida  21 OTTOBRE 1969

 

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